IF

If I had brought Jax a change of clothes, then none of this would have happened.
We were at the pool with my friends Sara and Katharine and their daughters, Stella and Harper.  After the pool, when we were about to head to the Base Lodge for lunch, I realized, to my chagrin, that I didn’t bring Jax a change of clothes.  Now I know that sitting in a wet bathing suit for a long time = diaper rash, so I just changed him into a clean diaper and off we went, Jax sporting his rash guard shirt and a diaper.  No pants.  Hey, it’s summer and babies with chubby thighs look awesome in just a diaper.  If I had put him in actual clothes, maybe the ensuing scene would have been less embarrassing, or perhaps even preventable.
So the six of us plus our friend Steph arrive at the Base Lodge of the Quechee Club, a more casual scene than the club itself to be sure, but not necessarily kid-without-pants casual.  Oh, well, we go there for breakfast once a week and Jax is BFF with Sam, the guy who runs the place anyway, so I wasn’t too worried about it.  We ordered and ate lunch without anything significant occuring, and then we let the three toddlers loose.  Oh, if only I had just left then while we were ahead!  Three-month-old Em was still asleep; I should have taken my sleeping baby and quasi-naked toddler home.  But no, I took my time cleaning up, talking to Sam and my girlfriends, and then strapped half-naked Jax into the front of our ginormous double stroller.Of course his little girlfriends loved this, because now he was immobile and they could mother him as they love to do their dolls.  So Harper, being such a sweet thing, brought Jax over his milk like a good mommy should.  I heard her tell Katharine she was going to do it and didn’t think twice.  Harper is a mature two and a half and she knows how to handle her milk.  Well, little did she know, Jax is an immature 20-month-old who can’t seem to do anything lately without making a mess.  If I had thought about it, I would have realized it was probably a bad idea, but I trust my friends to monitor my kids and I trust Harper to be a good girl.  I never thought twice about walking away from the situation to throw out some trash.  Unfortunately, when I looked back, Katharine was saying “Oh, oh, oh!” and Jax was dumping approximately 10 oz. of milk all over himself and the stroller.  Delightful and oh-so-smelly on a 90 degree day.  My friends and I burst into action to clean off the now horrified Jax and de-saturate my stroller, which now had a milk puddle in it.  Jax was miserable and kept his arms out away from his side and just whined.  When he stepped milk squirted out of his Crocs.  Awesome.

I went a got a rag from Sam, Sara watched the girls while Katharine and Steph used napkins to alleviate the milk situation.  We dried everything off, and then it was Jax’s turn.  I think if he had been wearing real clothes, I would have taken him to the bathroom and properly changed and cleaned him.  But no, he was still in his bathing suit top and just a milky diaper.  I whipped it off him right there in the Base Lodge and started sopping up the milk in all his creases.  I turned him around to de-milk his butt when I heard Katharine again say, “Oh! Oh! Oh!” but this time with more emphasis.  I peered around Jax to see my dear friend holding out the rag and catching his stream of pee that was flowing so freely onto the floor of the Base Lodge.  What a good friend!  She looked at me (7 months pregnant, mind you) and burst out laughing.  Who would have thought she’d be catching my kid’s pee today?  That is a true mom right there, who isn’t afraid of any sort of bodily function, no matter how gross or to whom it belongs!
So I think if I had brought Jax a change of clothes, the eventual peeing on the floor of a public place could have been avoided.  I promise we cleaned it up but I will admit I didn’t tell Sam!  I just threw the rag away after giving the rug a good scrub.  Kath had caught most of the pee anyway. I promise it wasn’t Jax getting payback for not being told there was pee on the jungle gym a few weeks ago.  If it was a health hazard, I would have turned myself in.  But I did just show Jax his new big boy potty–maybe peeing is on his mind!  No sticker for that one, though.
Ah, motherhood is full of “if onlys”!  If only this was the last time I would be saying “if only…”
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