The Un-Resolution

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself lately, it’s that I can’t do it all.  Not that anyone ever expected me to, but I have a crazed perfectionist syndrome that is hard to suppress.  There is one arena where I have never attempted to achieve much, however, and therefore, not much can be expected of me.

In college I survived on macaroni and cheese, just-add-water-pancakes, and soda.  Now I lead a life where I’m not supposed to give my kids food that comes out of a can or a box or the freezer?  I do my best, but I’m not sure I can handle that one.  Remember when I had to stop someone at the grocery store to ask what a kiwi looked like?  Or when a stalk of broccoli almost foiled my first cocktails and crafts? For God’s sake, I brought a can of corn to Thanksgiving dinner at JDubbs’s cousin’s house one year as my side dish because I love it.  Really.  Needless to say, I don’t have high hopes for any culinary ventures in my life.  As I say on a daily basis, thank God for JDubbs.

My latest example includes a frozen pound of hamburger meat, a frying pan, and an attempt to make cheeseburgers.  Charred on the outside + raw on the inside + 60 seconds in the microwave = very well done burgers that didn’t taste too bad.  At least to me, but then again, I like deviled ham.  I thought the burgers came out fine, but considering both my children, even Em who would probably eat a rock if I put ketchup on it, gave them looks like this:

and pretty much only ate the bun, I guess I’m better off pulling one of those TGIFriday’s little sliders (that, by the way, are ready in 50 seconds and are delicious) out of the freezer and saying forget this whole cooking cockamamie.

Especially considering that when we sat down to eat, my kitchen looked like this:

Really, was all this worth it?  I think not.  Parents who prepare wholesome, healthy, fresh meals for the children every night without resorting to tying them up or locking them in a closet deserve a medal.  There are some things I’m good at, but cooking’s just not it.  So this New Year’s, my resolution is to cook as little as humanly possible  in 2012.  I think that would be best for everyone involved, don’t you?

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