Here’s the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three quasi-well-behaved kids. Last Friday was the first day that she attempted to take all three of them anywhere on her own, and she decided that their library was the perfect place. The older kids love it there, understand the rules, and are very well contained on the children’s floor. What could go wrong?
We arrived around 10:30 and for about a half hour, I marveled at how sweet Jax and Em were and how nicely they were playing together. I picked out books and DVDs, showed them how to use the computers to search for an author, watched them read together, and generally congratulated myself on doing a fine job on our first outing alone.
Yes, that’s my Pepsi. Caffeine is requisite to survival lately.
Fast forward about an hour, after the kids ate lunch and apparently lost their minds. They might as well have taken some of the peanut butter and shoved it in their ears for all they listened to me, while of course I was trapped on a chair nursing the baby. After I finished and was walking her over to get a blanket to lay her on (we were the only patrons of the library at this time–THANK GOD), I reminded myself to take Em to the bathroom since it had been a while since she’d gone. That was when I heard someone call, “Excuse me, Mom?”
I figured he meant me since I was the only mother with children in the room. I scurried around the stacks to find Em, bare-assed as the day she was born, assuming a squatted position to POOP on the library floor! I unceremoniously plopped the baby on the floor, called to the librarian to keep an eye on her, scooped Em up and hustled her to the bathroom. Two minor mercies were that Jax was completely absorbed with some model dinosaurs and the bathroom is feet away from the children’s section. I put Em on the toilet, ran back to get her clothes, which were soaked with pee–which was why she took them off in the first place, I assume, and then just thought Why not? when she realized she had to poop. Why walk to the bathroom when there is a perfectly good stretch of floor right here? I am so grateful there were no other kids or parents there, and that we are such good patrons of this library that they know us and (hopefully) forgive us!
Of course, after this fiasco the baby started screaming, the kids wouldn’t listen, and everything pretty much went to hell. Punishment for my pride that I could handle this transition so seamlessly, that my parenting is so spot-on that it was going to be easy. Well, I still have faith in myself and faith in my kids, but maybe a little less confidence that I can just pick up where I left off. Okay, now I know I can’t just pick up where I left off! A little more caution and a little less pride next time! Oh, and a pull-up!